Saturday, December 14, 2002

The 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' cartoon was on yesterday and it suddenly hit me: reindeer are rascist. Not to mention Santa himself. Then when Santa can't see through the fog they suddenly like him (how Santa sees without headlights in the night sky is yet another mystery). It's like Rudolph is a black kid in an all white school, and then they realize he's got a jumpshot. The Charlie Brown special was also on (they apparently made a second CB special, but who cares about that one). First of all, Brown buys that tree. It's not even a tree, it's a branch from a tree. They all make fun of him and rightfully so. He deserves it. Second, at the end his friends put decorations on it (stolen from Snoopy's dog house) and the "tree" grows about 300 times in width, with green galore. A minute earlier, Charlie Brown puts 1 ball on it and it's too much weight, it bends over. Laws of physics are broken everywhere. Third, it would be easier to take Linus seriously during his big soliloquy if he didn't always have that fucking blanket with him. In conclusion, it looks like The Grinch cartoon is the best holiday special of all time. No comparisons please.


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