Top of the mornin' to ya Today is St. Patrick's Day. St. Patrick, as you know, is the patron saint of drunken madness. Though I like the drunken part, I'm not so crazy about the madness. There are just too many parades, and parades are always a reason themselves to get drunk. There's no need to throw in an Irish hero for it. I'm not really a big fan of this holiday, and I'll tell you why. I look Irish, but I'm not. I've got the red hair and pale skin, but I'm Italian. So I feel awkward celebrating a day that's for people who look like me. Though today they always say "everyone's Irish on St. Patrick's Day." That's kinda rude I think. Maybe everyone doesn't want to be Irish. And that sorta cheapens actually being Irish. Plus no one ever says "everyone's Puerto Rican on Puerto Rico day" or "everyone's gay on gay pride day." Oh, well. Enjoy your green beer.