Tuesday, October 14, 2003

The Unspeakable Awfulness of Aaron Boone Yankees third baseman Aaron Boone has done absolutely nothing this postseason and with good reason: he did absolutely nothing all year. The Yanks acquired this guy right before the July 31 trade deadline, presumably a good hitter. He must've been using Ken Griffey, Jr.'s bat in Cincinnati (or Ken Griffey, Jr.'s bat circa 1995) because I think the last time he got a hit was in August versus the Orioles, or maybe in t-ball against Frank's Dry Cleaners. I'll have to ask Elias Sports Bureau on that one. Plus Fox has had his brother, Bret, who plays for the Mariners, as a broadcaster during the playoffs and you just know he's embarrassed. He'll only talk about off the field stuff concerning his sibling. But you just know he's gonna bring it up this Thanksgiving. "Hey Bret, pass the stuffing." "Hey Aaron, don't pop up every at-bat." What would I do from now on? Bench him and stick Enrique Wilson at thrid. So says me, official armchair quarterback of life.

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