Wednesday, December 31, 2003

2004gettaboudit I will not be going to Times Square tonight. There are already people there waiting to watch the ball drop. This has got to be one of the dumbest New York traditions around. I mean I'll watch it on TV, cuz if I didn't how would I know what year is coming up? What if next year is 2007? I'd be the one with egg on my face when I walk out the door on January 1st and find out Hillary Clinton is president. But it's also fun to see people freezing to death so they can wait 9 hours for 10 seconds. Wearing their little 2004 glasses as if they're all winning the Mega Millions jackpot next year and making great strides with their lives. They promise to be better people and lose 20 pounds with their resolutions that go nowhere by January 3rd. But hang on to those glasses: they're a good reminder of how nothing cool will happen to you this year. And by 12:03 Times Square is desolate. There's nothing left but confetti and beer bottles, just like after the Thanksgiving Day parade. New Years Day is the worst, too. It's somehow a national holiday, really only because it's the first day of the glorious year ahead. It's like Delaware having "The First State" on its license plates. Nothing great ever happens in Delaware, so the folks there remind us this whole country sounded good to them before anyone else. Don't get me wrong about New Year's Eve, though. It's still a great reason to drink, but I think we've still got enough of those for now.


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