Johnny Rotten

Attorney General John Ashcroft handed in his handwritten resignation dated November 2nd. I guess something good actually did happen that day. The letter was handwritten because, most likely, he believes computers to be the work of the devil. Anything that types letters and then prints them must be selling for nothing less than a human soul. The reason for his resignation looks to be health related. The job weakened him and the powers bestowed upon him by Jesus were wearing thin, an aide said. He could no longer destroy homosexuals with his laser vision or fly over the Canadian border killing terrorists with his power ring. Don't let the door hit you in your homophobic ass on the way out.