Friday, January 07, 2005

Leave Off the Last 'S' for 'Smoldering'

Aaron Carter's Escolade burst into flames yesterday shortly after he drove over a mattress. Unfortunately, he pulled over and got out before it ignited. The mattress fell off a truck he was driving behind and caught fire underneath the Cadillac. A lot of things came to my mind when I heard this story:
1. Why the hell would you drive over a mattress? Did he want that "off-road" experience on the highway?
2. He can afford his own SUV? Who buys his crappy albums?
3. He can drive? Isn't he, like, 13?
4. This is the best thing that's ever happened to his career.
5. If he hadn't gotten out, and Ashlee Simpson and Ryan Cabrera were also inside, it may have been the greatest day in music history.
He was also quoted as saying, "You think you're invincible when you're behind the steering wheel of an SUV but you're not." Yeah, because they never roll-over or do poorly in crash tests. Or burst into flames after you drive over a mattress.

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