Sunday, October 31, 2004

Haphazard Notion #459

Should transvestites be allowed to participate in Halloween? They're already in costume, I don't think it's fair to the rest of us.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Token Booth

Today marks the 100th anniversary of the New York City subway. For 100 years now, New Yorkers have seen weirdos clip their nails, refused to sit between people, blocked doorways, taken up multiple seats, heard annoying Mariachi bands, gotten pissed when the wrong train comes by, stared aimlessly at 'Learn English' ads, and ignored one another like they don't even exist. Happy Birthday, Subway! Aside from all the negatives, you still help us get from point A to point B. Though we may have to transfer to a Brooklyn bound train so that we can then transfer to a train going to a station where we only have to walk five or six miles to get to a bus that goes to the street just an hour from home. But hey, free transfers.

Monday, October 25, 2004

Blame It On the Rain Band

Why, Ashlee? Why would you deny the world of hearing your magical live vocal cord vibrations? You are such a talented young star who paid her dues in dingy underground clubs, subways, and street corners for years before you were discovered almost by accident. We, the true Ashlee Simpson fans who liked you before you were big, know that you would never pull such a stunt on the diehards. Clearly this was some kind of sabotage by all those people jealous of your amazing previously recorded voice. Your music does totally not blow.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

The Fall of a Dictator

When Fidel Castro fell after giving a speech Wednesday, Cubans realized they missed a golden opportunity to pummel the old geezer and win their freedom. You've gotta be ready for those types of situations. No one had a plan ready if he ever bent over to pick up a quarter? What have they been doing all these years? Get together with some buddies and work it out.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

The Pot Calling the Kettle a Liberal

Bush is accusing Kerry of fear mongering? That's just hilarious. Fear mongering is the reason Bush is on the ballot. It's practically his platform.

Friday, October 15, 2004

All Flu Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Everyone is flipping out over the lack of flu vaccines available. You'd think they were for polio, but people are worried about getting sick. Nothing gets panties up in a bunch like when there's a scarcity of something, like Tickle Me Elmos or morning talk shows. Drinking too much alcohol and lighting up all those cigarettes didn't seem to bother anyone at the time. Bottom line is that there's more to worry about than the sniffles. Like when they put Kraft cheese on nachos. Not right.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Do You Still Need More Reasons Not to Vote for Bush?

Last debate was tonight, and so ends the best-of-three series. I'd say a three game sweep for the K-Man. I like how they have the debates at colleges in swing states. These swing states have no televisions, radios, newspapers, Internet connections, or carrier pigeon services to get information to all the undecideds. That's why they can't make up their minds. Live debates are the first glimpses of these candidates. Up until a few weeks ago, Florida thought Howard Dean was the Democratic nominee. But that was due to old intelligence.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

That Bad Idea Belongs to Another

Yahoo! News - Scriptwriter sues Sony for plagiarising J. Lo film I just can't make it up cuz no one would believe me. And wasn't it a Sleeping With the Enemy rip off anyway?

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Work of Art

This painting was removed from a museum in Washington, and with good reason. Look how frail they made Bush look. He's a hunka hunka burnin love if you ask me. Plus, his crown is way more ornate than that. And I have no idea what Oakland A's manager Ken Macha is doing in there.

Say What?

Sorry for the lack of posting the last few days, but I had a problem with getting on all the Internets. Out of hundreds of Internets, I couldn't get connected to any of them.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Cramer Vs. Cramer

Does anyone else find these ads annoying and lemming-like?

Scottie Don't

Scottie Pippen retired today. He should've picked a day Michael Jordan was also retiring. He has a tendency to do that a lot. And it would have again put him in Jordan's shadow for old time's sake. I think it would be a fitting way to end his career.