Saturday, July 31, 2004

Going for Gold

Lately I've come to notice that this site has been ranked high on a popular search engine under the name of a popular young actress out there. Do a Google search on "Linsey Lohan" and BQAN is on the second results page (a search for "pictures of Linsey Lohan" lands on the first page). Not bad, but I want to be number one. Sure, this site may not have much to do with her, but I don't care. I'd feel a sense of pride for being the top web destination of hardcore Linsey Lohan fans all over the world, and by world I mean in guys' basements after their wives have gone to bed. Remember, only YOU can pollute search engines. And besides, her name is actually spelled "Linsay," so it serves you right.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Like We Didn't Think He'd Get the Nomination

Kerry just delivered his nomination acceptance speech at the DNC. The idea at the convention was to get people to get to know him. After watching, I am now 100% certain that he is NOT George W. Bush. Especially after the first 2 seconds, when he said, "I'm John Kerry." Anything else I left out? I didn't think so.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004


Illinois State Senator Barack Obama has quickly become the Democratic Party's "it" boy. Any day now he'll be showing up at parties in the Hamptons and dating Keira Knightly.

Please Don't Be Like Mike

The start of Michael Jackson's trial has been delayed til 2005. This is so the defense has more time to work on their case, and so Jacko can artificially impregnate more women before the trial. I mean, he's gonna need to play with more than quadruplets (and if he has one more kid named Prince Michael...). The real problem is that all these kids he molests aren't his. If they're his own kids and they sleep in his bed he's got the excuse that they had a nightmare every night for 12 years. Farfetched, yes, but a little less creepy. Or maybe not.

Monday, July 26, 2004

Some Movie with Natalie Portman

The title for Star Wars: Episode III was revealed today at, where else, a comics convention.  The movie will be called Revenge of the Sith.  We've waited 27 years and they pick Revenge of the Sith.  The Sith, if you're not familiar with Star Wars, is an evil conspiracy that makes George Lucas write bad scripts. Some of the rejected titles included: Episode III: Episode VI Episode III: Attack of the Angry Star Wars Fans Episode III: No Jar Jar In This One, We Promise Episode III: 101 Loose Ends Episode III: Dude, Where's My Millenium Falcon?

Friday, July 23, 2004

Reading is Fundamental

The 9/11 Commission finally released their report yesterday that the public has been waiting to read.  It seemed odd, however, that many bookstores had parties to celebrate the book's release, and children all over the globe were breaking open their piggy banks to buy the report for some reason. Not sure why, but here's the cover:

Thursday, July 22, 2004

9-11 commission

National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States You can download the report that came out today on this site.  Damn the man.


I finally got around to seeing Fahrenheit 9/11 last night, and if you haven't yet, I suggest you do.  It's funny and entertaining (feel free to use that on the DVD back cover, Michael Moore), or what they call "infotainment."  When you walk out, I guarantee you'll hate the president even more than you already do.  Some may call it propaganda (and by some I mean Republicans) but it does present the facts outright.  Besides, Bush has thrown so much deceit at us for the past 3 1/2 years (and don't forget the election itself) that this is a good wrap-up of it all.  

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Fed Up

How come whenever Fed chairman Alan Greenspan speaks, the media has to show extreme close-ups of his ugly mug on TV and in the papers?  The guy is not at all good looking, and I for one would much rather see someone else, like perhaps that old guy who dances in the Six Flags commercials.  

Monday, July 19, 2004

The Living Soundbite

Governor Arnold called Democrats "girlie-men" Saturday for not agreeing with his budget proposal.  Just goes to show that you can take the bad actor out of Hollywood, but you can't take the bodybuilder out of said bad actor.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Let He Who Is Without Pictures of Linsey Lohan on Page 3 Cast the First Stone

I like how today the trashy tabloid New York Daily News was all over the New York Post, an even trashier tabloid, for their now infamous cover revealing Dick Gephardt as Kerry's VP selection. The News' cover story was about how the Post screwed up again yesterday. This from the paper that had a picture of P. Diddy's party on its Tuesday cover.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Thanks, But No Thanks

I have been pushed by constantly nagging forces to send out thank you cards for graduation presents received last month. Of all the made up holidays and "heard you had diarrhea"-type cards people presumably buy, thank you cards are the most useless of all to me. You've likely thanked the person when you were handed the gift, and if it was mailed, I'd rather just call them and say "thanks" or say it the next time I see them, assuming it isn't like 7 years later. But no, society urges me to send a paper messenger to do my bidding, to kiss the ass of the gift giver. You don't see homeless guys sending out thank you cards when you give them money. And who even keeps a thank you card for more than 9 seconds? You don't even have to open it. You know what it is from the small envelope and return address. If you do take the time to cut that sucker open, you read it and toss it in the garbage. "You better be thankin' me," you say. Birthday and Christmas cards at least have a short shelf life, that is so insecure freaks like myself can show off how many friends they have.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Clone College Part II

At all the Cyclones home games this year there's a promotion where a player on the other team is chosen and if he strikes out three times, everyone in the crowd wins a small pizza. This may not seem very exciting, but that's because you've never come so close to free pizza before. The guy picked for last night's game struke out in his first two at-bats. After that, something came over the crowd. It no longer cared for getting this guy out unless it was by strikeout. The game took a back seat to counting when the "K-Man," as he was called, would be up next. Even the announcer was chanting "We want pizza." There was no more baseball game, only free pizza to be won. In his next two at-bats, he came close but hit the ball in play. With the Cyclones down by one in the 9th, they tied it up on a wild pitch. In the 10th, with two outs, the batter in front of the K-Man was intentionally walked! Oh what luck! Another shot at free pizza! It was as if the players needed that pizza as well, and were willing to walk people if necessary. But a ground ball to short ended our chances. Dreams were broken, stomachs remained growling. After that I left.

Clone College

I went to see the Brooklyn Cyclones tonight, the minor league affiliate of the New York Mets. The team is named after the Cyclone, the famous Coney Island rollercoaster, which can be seen past the left field wall since the stadium is next to the Coney Island boardwalk. Now if it weren't enough that the team is called the Cyclones and you can see the actual Cyclone in the distance with "CYCLONE" in lights, there is an advertisement on the left field wall FOR THE CYCLONE. This is of course below the fake rollercoaster on top of the scoreboard in left field. And it remains there when they show the mascot (no, not a rollercoater) riding the Cyclone on the big screen below the fake rollercoaster and next to the real one from the perspective of someone watching from the stands. They might wanna take a gamble and spend that sign money on filling in the missing planks on the ride.